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The question was asked about how to find your mission and determine the direction of changes in life. In this article, I would like to answer this question and recommend some simple techniques that you can try immediately after reading.

Why do we want change?

If you think that you need to change something in this life, then you don’t think so.

Rinat Valiullin

I believe that the first step to making conscious changes in life is planning. However, I did not specify what exactly makes us start planning, looking for sources of motivation and working with our resources.

It's very simple - it's a rejection of reality.

We begin to think about changes when the desire is born in us to say: “Something is wrong in my life. This doesn’t suit me!” This happens when something makes us question our standards in life.

I recently read the story of a girl who lost 20 kilograms. I'll give it as an example.

“I was on the subway when all the seats were taken. My grandmother sat in front of me and looked at me carefully for the first few minutes. Then she stood up and with the words: “Sit down, daughter, you and your child are not supposed to stand,” she gave me her seat. I, burning with shame and holding my “baby,” sat down. It was at that moment that I realized that this could not continue.”

The first thing you must understand when you embark on the path of change is that the new standards you are striving for do not correspond to what you have at this stage. But not everyone has the opportunity to experience a moment of extreme clarity, see themselves from the outside and rethink their habits, like the above-mentioned girl. So what to do?

1. What do I want to change?

There's not much point in climbing a ladder if it's not against the right wall.

Stephen Covey

This is the main question that worries most people who have received a boost of motivation, but do not know where to direct their energy.

There are many ways to identify problem areas, but the simplest and most effective of them is a competent assessment. To do this, you need to separately consider the main areas of your life, which, as a rule, include:

• Love;
• friendship;
• welfare;
• health;
• Job;
• hobby.

This classification was proposed by Russian business coach Radislav Gandapas. You can use your own division, revealing individual directions in more detail.

Now you need to rate each of them on a ten-point scale. This way you will decide which areas need your attention first. If you have opposite scores (for example, 3 and 10), then you should think about redirecting your efforts to an area that needs it more.

If all the numbers are approximately the same, then start with health and love, since their development most of all trains the will and gives motivation for self-improvement.

2. How to force yourself to act?

To change something, a person needs to survive a catastrophe, poverty or near death.

Erich Maria Remarque

Once you have decided what to work on, you must put yourself in a state of rejection of reality. Your desire to raise existing standards must overcome your fear, which is guaranteed to make you want to leave things as they are. What is needed for this?

Take a piece of paper and write down a goal in the chosen area. For example: “I want to develop strong relationships.” Now divide the sheet into two columns with the following names:

1. Old standards. What will happen in five years if I leave everything as it is?
2. New standards. What will happen in five years if I start working on myself in this area?

Now try to be as honest as possible and write down detailed answers to these questions. In our example of a strong relationship, the old standards would include loneliness, lack of understanding, emotional instability, and so on. For new ones - emotional support, a pleasant pastime, a happy marriage.

So what standards do you want to live by?

3. Live by new standards. Today!

There is no balance in life. Every moment is either a movement towards perfection or degradation.

Andrew Matthews

Now you know which direction you need to move and what results await you in the end. At this stage, overwhelmed with emotions, we first begin to make plans to change the chosen area, but our enthusiasm quickly disappears.

To prove to yourself that your standards are truly a thing of the past, start changing your chosen area today, right now. The picture below will serve as an excellent example of motivation for you.

To see multiple changes in a year, it is enough to change just 1% today. Write to an old friend you haven’t talked to for a long time, do some exercise, find out about career opportunities at work. Every day, do at least something that will bring you closer to your goal, even if just one step.

Start working on yourself and change your life for the better!

Elena Azhevskaya

Where to start working on yourself or how to start changing

Hello, dear friends!

I present to your attention the “Success Cheat Sheet”. The idea of ​​writing this book came to me purely by accident. The fact is that I have been engaged in personal growth for more than ten years: I read books, go through programs, and if I come across an interesting tool for self-improvement and development of myself as an individual, I begin to apply it in my life.

This article is an Introduction to the “Crib”. In it I will share with you my thoughts on how to start changing or the first steps on the path to successful self-realization. Of course, this is work on yourself.

Where does success begin? I think that from laying the foundation! After all, the stronger the foundation, the more stable the building built on it. Therefore, we need to think through everything and create a “foundation for success” in such a way that any cataclysms are not scary.

In order for everything to be clear, high-quality, easy and reasonably fast, you need to figure out what personal qualities and skills will lead to success and where to start working on yourself.

The key to success

But really, we all understand that success doesn’t just come, so what do we need to do to rise to a new step in our development and get closer to our cherished goal?

While listening to the book “50 Secrets of Success” by Nikolai Latansky, I learned about the existence of the Success Formula of Thomas Leonard, the founder of personal coaching.

The essence of the formula is that human success is a derivative of three main components:

1. 10% - human knowledge, skills, abilities
2. 40% - way of thinking: how a person perceives himself and the world around him
3. 50% - environment, habitat

Now, according to this formula, we will be able to model a plan for a “changing self” based on the cheat sheet tickets.

I will immediately note that the material in this book will greatly help change the way of thinking and personal effectiveness (40% of success), will affect the first component (10%), as it will lead to an improvement in intuition, which contributes to a better use of knowledge, skills and abilities.

But that's not all. You yourself will notice that as you begin to change, as your inner world changes, your environment will change, and this is 50% of success.

This means that you yourself will shape your environment, not only influencing your family and friends with your positivity, but also attracting new friends and individuals who will contribute to your further development.

Personal development

To begin with, you can simply look through, scroll through the pages, so that a strategic plan for further work on yourself emerges: what you know, what you don’t know, maybe you know about something, but you forget to put it into practice.

At one of the master classes on achieving goals by Evgeniy Deineko, I learned that according to statistics collected by the author himself, only 50% of the participants achieve their intended results after completing it, and the remaining 50% do not. Why do you think?

Because in order to quickly and easily get results in any area, first of all you need personal self-sufficiency, and then the use of “various tricks” that are taught in training to achieve a specific goal: money, career, love - relationships, etc. d.

We are all different: some lack positive thinking, some lack positive emotions, some have weak energy and simply do not have the strength to implement their plans into life. This is what personal growth is all about!

All this information is included in the tickets. And perhaps, just by looking at the content, you will understand where to direct your efforts. In this case, you can proceed to a detailed study of the issue of interest.

Well, for those who are interested in all the tickets or find it difficult to decide where to start, let’s start by forming useful habits.

Useful habits

We all understand that in order to achieve success, strategy and dreams are not enough. It will be necessary to work hard to correct the existing stereotype of thinking and behavior in society. To do this, first of all, we will need strength and energy.

You certainly can’t do without a healthy lifestyle!

Therefore, before moving on to carefully working through each ticket, let's begin to introduce useful habits and rituals into our lives that will have a beneficial effect on health and quality of life.

Morning exercises

Start with the easiest thing, for example, with morning exercises, the simplest exercises, similar to those you once did at school, later you can diversify them with exercises from yoga, qigong gymnastics or from the “Eye of Renaissance”.

Glass of warm water

To the “Morning exercise” ritual, you can add the “Glass of warm water” ritual 20 minutes before or after eating at the rate of 1 liter per 40 kg. a person’s weight (if a person weighs 80 kg, then to maintain water balance he needs to drink about 2 liters of water daily).

Mindful Eating

This can hardly be called a ritual; it is more suitable for a lifestyle in an environment where you need to be careful not to buy or eat genetically modified products, products stuffed with preservatives, dyes and stabilizers.

Eat more vegetables and fruits. Eggs, fish, seeds, nuts, and olive oil are very beneficial for the body. Do not forget that nutrition should be balanced.

Also, there are different opinions about the harm caused to food by heating it in a microwave oven (!).

Walking in the fresh air

Build your route back home in such a way that at least 20 minutes. We could take a leisurely walk and breathe in the fresh air.

Complete rest

Studying the material

Let's start studying the material. Read the ticket. Highlight your main thoughts. Complete the practical task. Perhaps you are interested in some book or technique, which means you need to take a closer look at the material. After all, in this way, reading books, watching videos, we rethink our own view of things. This is what development and growth are all about.

Environment

Let’s start creating 50% of our success, namely creating our environment:

1. The environment is not only the people who surround you, but also objects, clothes, food. Therefore, before you buy or eat anything, think about how healthy it will be for you. Also, try to surround yourself with beautiful things and set the table before eating. Try to enjoy everything, even any everyday moments - this will add positive emotions and increase energy vibrations.
2. We surround ourselves with positive people. By subscribing to free newsletters, you will receive letters from people who have already achieved success and, by reading their letters, you will naturally adopt their way of thinking. You can also join interest groups, for example, in the Facebook group “Personal Growth and Human Development” I always post the materials I like. And, of course, if you have any questions, you can always ask me for help in the comments on the website and on social networks.

Processing information

Books and programs on positive thinking. Talking with many people who are interested in this topic, we came to the same conclusion: while you read the book, you are filled with positivity and the desire to change your life for the better, but as soon as the book is read, the inspiration disappears, and everything becomes the same as and it happened before.

Of course, the book has been read, but new behavioral skills have not been formed, so the information received must be processed and re-read! Audiobooks and programs are good in this regard: you turn on the recording and can go about your business that does not require mental stress (cleaning the apartment, cooking).

Once upon a time, more than ten years ago, I listened to an audiobook. At that time, my girlfriend and I were renting an apartment. She spent her free time from work with friends, and I spent more time at home and constantly listened to my favorite book. When she came home, she said: “Lena, are you becoming a zombie again?!” :-))) Yes! That's right! How else can you change your way of thinking?

The technique for working with subconscious attitudes gives good results, I’m talking about it

Don't be afraid of new information! Of course, you need to listen to common sense and intuition. You can’t take anything for granted without checking it, and only then, if you like the idea, start implementing it into your life.

Inspirational video on the topic

I wish you all success on this path and see you soon.

With love and respect, Elena Azhevskaya.

How to work on yourself, how to start developing and changing your life? Working on yourself, psychology, where to start

where to start learning on your own

Among the diversity of human life, the inner space of the individual remains unknown to many. And this internal life is in many ways more important for a person than the external one, since injuries inflicted on the psyche do not heal for decades, unlike wounds on the body. Psychologists know this well - people whose lives are devoted to studying the secrets of the soul. And, of course, the desire to understand others is valuable.

Those who set out on the path of self-education must go through a difficult path. What are the main difficulties of studying, why is it so difficult to master the science of psychology; where to start studying? Let's try to figure it out.

Methodology

When a person decides to study a science such as psychology, it is worth thoroughly becoming familiar with the methodology of science. And devote a lot of time to reading various literature.

But where to start studying psychology on your own? How to find the knowledge base on which you can rely further and study science in depth? Without fundamental, orderly concepts, no real science exists. First, the subject of science and methodology are studied. Methodology is a systematic analysis of the methods that are used in a given science to obtain knowledge.

Start with yourself. Why and for what

The beginning of the study of human psychology is the understanding of personal motives. First of all, you need to understand why the first step to studying people’s behavior is being taken: to have a good understanding of the development of children and help them grow harmonious, or for your own personal growth, or you want to become a professional and get the opportunity to help outsiders.

It is also important to decide in advance which side of science you will study thoroughly: theoretical or practical. After all, it’s difficult to find without knowing what exactly. Especially in the ocean of information.

Books on psychology. Which ones do a beginner need?

What books should you start studying psychology with? When setting out to study the basics of any science, you need to start with the basics: the most basic categories, terms and concepts - all this can be found in any first-year textbook. Such textbooks are available in all city libraries. Although they are not very eloquently written, and are full of definitions and tables, they are worth mastering. It will be easier later. After reading this first book, you need to find the classics of psychology: K. Jung, K. Horney, A. Adler, E. Fromm and, of course, you need to familiarize yourself with the works of Freud.

A lighter and more interesting book by I. Yalom “When Nietzsche Wept.” You can then look for any author’s book in the direction that is currently more interesting.

We must not forget that it is important for a psychologist to know the basics of philosophy and sociology. It is important to develop humanitarian thinking; science is not only theories and theses.

Fiction also contains a lot of useful information for the future psychologist. Classic writers clearly analyzed the nature of the inner world and the actions of their fictional heroes. A particularly deep analysis can be found in the books of F. Dostoevsky.

Magazines and publications

In today's incredibly vast space of information, finding an accessible and interesting journal on psychology is not a problem. Many universities publish their own magazine and post free versions on the Internet quite freely. You just need to find the journal that will be educational and useful for you in your chosen field of science.

• "Russian psychological journal".
• Journal of the Higher Attestation Commission "Bulletin of VlGU".
• "Experimental Psychology".
• "Existential and humanistic psychology."
• Online magazine psychologies.ru.
• Other.

The online magazine psychologies.ru was created for a wide range of readers. If you need scientific publications written by qualified employees of institutes, it is better to read official publications. Such as: "Russian Psychological Journal".

The world of psychology. Main directions

In what directions is modern psychology developing? Where to start studying trends in the development of the main directions of this science? You cannot succeed in everything at once, and you need to decide on the direction in which a person will feel most confident, what is closer to him to learn and apply.

The classic directions are:

• cognitive direction;

• Gestalt psychology;

• associative psychology;

• humanistic;

And there are also new directions: psychodrama, coaching, transpersonal psychology and neurolinguistic programming.

Nonverbal communication as a basis

Without what is the science of psychology inconceivable? Where to start studying? A beginner needs to study both theory and practice. And accordingly, practice immediately: learn to listen, learn to pay attention to non-verbal signs. This practice is important in the same way that to learn a foreign language it is necessary to immediately pronounce sentences.

Nonverbal messages are a hint to the interlocutor; The theory of nonverbal communication states that gestures, facial expressions and postures of a person speak about the internal state much more than words. A good psychologist immediately “calculates” the state of a person nearby by his appearance. Even if you are not going to study psychology professionally, but are only interested in it, you need to learn to identify nonverbal signs. This will simplify communication with both loved ones and colleagues.

What character qualities need to be developed?

Working with people is absolutely impossible without working on yourself. A psychologist is one who studies souls. This is how psychology is interpreted. Where to start studying the behavior and problems of others? From working on your character qualities. Because without knowing yourself, it is impossible to know others.

Psyche was the goddess-soul; accordingly, the science of the soul cannot be studied without love for the souls of people. You must be able to put yourself in the place of another and imagine his feelings and emotions. A psychologist also needs good abilities for self-analysis and self-reflection - that is, the ability to understand one’s own emotional state and behavior. Ability to establish verbal contact with any person.

Indeed, the study of human psychology is not so easy. Where to start? Develop awareness. For a new psychologist, this is a key point. If a beginner is faced with the question: where to start studying psychology on his own, then it is better to reformulate it - with whom to start studying. From myself. A psychologist will not be able to solve other people's problems if he does not learn to solve his own complexes, problems, fears and anxieties.

Proxemics

Distance and the need to maintain it when conducting a conversation are studied by such a science as proxemics. The concept was introduced into science by Edward Hall.

Edward Hall introduced 4 zones into the scientific world of psychologists that must be observed when communicating:

• intimate;
• personal;
• social zone;
• public

Understanding people's inner states is not so easy. There is no point in reading books if a beginner does not know how to recognize the inner mood of his interlocutor.

A psychologist cannot put pressure on a person. When he does not keep his distance, the person will close himself and will not allow him into his inner world.

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How to work on yourself, how to start developing and changing your life?

Hello, dear friends! Many of our readers, who in their lives have come to the need to develop and work on themselves, ask: where can and should you start your development? What is the best way to launch long-awaited changes in yourself and in your life? What tasks and development techniques are there for this?

This is a great and very important question! Especially if the person had no spiritual experience or practice in personal development at all.

This article will give important recommendations for developing and working on yourself: where should you start your development? what is important to consider? What are the most important solutions for effective personal and spiritual growth? What articles on this topic are worth reading and understanding? How can you quickly launch the long-awaited transformations and transformations of your own life?

What is important to know and what you need to decide on at the beginning of your development path?

It is important to decide on the vector of your development! Where are you going and why?! After all, development is a path. There are two main vectors of development, or rather, this is a key coordinate system.

1. Levels of strength – levels of human development (stages of his growth). In fact, it is the level of development that determines what a person can and cannot do.
2. The degree of his Positivity - what Ideals a person follows in life: the ideals of Good or Evil, or he is an Egoist and for him this is not important. In other words, where does a person go - to God, to the Light or to His opposite (to hell), or for him the highest value is his own self-interest.

These are the main vectors of development that determine which Forces of the Universe will help and patronize a person on the path of development, and in life in general. This is what will largely determine all the results of his fate.

Decide who you want to help you on this path - Light Forces or Dark Forces, or you don’t care.

Key decisions for your own development! How to start developing?

Development is a change in yourself, your Personality, your Consciousness and Subconscious, it is the disclosure of your potential and liberation from shortcomings (negativity), vices, weaknesses, pathologies.

It is important to understand the concept of “Development” so that there are no discrepancies and contradictions in consciousness. To do this, I suggest studying the following articles that explain this concept:

But in order to start developing, you don’t need to dive headlong into esotericism, you don’t need to stuff yourself with gigabytes of theory. We need to start with a simple, obvious and truly effective practice - by answering key questions. Moreover, the answers must be written so that you can re-read what is written, understand, and correct. make decisions. All changes within you and in your life begin with your making new vital decisions!

The main questions to start working on yourself:

1. Write down in a column everything you are unhappy with about yourself and what you want to change.
2. List everything you want to change in your own life: everything that doesn’t suit you, everything that causes dissatisfaction, everything that makes you suffer, etc.
3. For each point written above, write what exactly you want to replace the existing one with (what doesn’t suit you): A) For yourself, B) For your life (in all areas of life).
4. Repeatedly re-read everything written, reflect, supplement the lists, detail the replacement. The more detailed and clear you define for yourself what you want in return for what you have, the faster changes will begin and development will enter your life.

Important Additional task: give clear and detailed answers to the questions: what do I definitely not want? What do I not want to experience inside? Who do I definitely not want to be? What kind of life do I definitely not want?

A written answer to these questions is very powerful because it gives absolute clarity to our consciousness and subconscious, cutting off everything unnecessary, vague, distracting, everything that takes up our energy and time. Deep honest answers to these questions make us as sincere as possible with ourselves, and sincerity gives us a lot of energy for future achievements.

Removing blocks to development and work on yourself

Clings to the past, attachments, uncorrected mistakes (sins), feelings of guilt and unforgiveness of ourselves prevent us from letting in changes and can often completely block our development.

Where are you turning your consciousness? How does your inner world live - the past? real? future? If you are in the past, if you are turned to the past and have your back to your future, changes and development will proceed with difficulty or will be completely blocked.

You need to work through your past - let it go, thank you for everything given from Above, repent for everything where you were wrong, forgive yourself, refuse to judge yourself and others, decide that for yourself, for your Soul, you want only Light, Good, Development , Happiness, only all the best. Because “Development” is Good, and if you wish Evil for yourself, subconsciously or consciously, the flows of positive transformation and development simply will not enter you.

Practical work with your past:

1. Walk mentally through your entire life, remember everything that you can remember and thank the Creator, Fate, your Guardian Angels in writing for everything good, valuable that you have been given in life, thank fate for everything given, incl. and for the trials that made you stronger and wiser. Write from your heart and in as much detail as possible a prayer of gratitude to the Higher Powers for the life you have already lived, for everything you have, for your achievements, lessons and trials, for everything you have learned and understood. And direct this prayer to your Creator and the Light Forces. It is gratitude that allows you to receive the necessary karmic credits for your past, let go of it and step higher into the future.
2. Remember and write down all your mistakes, sins, everything where your conscience is not clear and for which you need to repent before the Higher Powers (during your entire conscious life). For all the written sins, write freely, from the heart, a prayer of repentance before God, before people, and before your soul. Remember that the biggest sin, which completely blocks the entry into a person’s life of any positive changes, is non-recognition of one’s past sins (pride).
3. Write down everything you can remember where you blame yourself for something, cannot forgive yourself for something in your past, for which you internally condemn yourself, castigate yourself, hate yourself. For each point, forgive yourself in writing and release guilt and any negativity towards yourself. For example, like this: “I forgive myself for..., I open up to the flow of Light, to the flow of Development, I change and grow, I direct only Light, Love, Kindness towards myself...”. A positive attitude towards oneself is the main creative rule: “no matter what happens, no matter what mistakes I make, only Light is on myself, and I will definitely correct the mistakes” (no negativity or self-destruction).

Do at least these three tasks slowly, in detail and as sincerely as possible, and your life will begin to change for the better, and there will be more joy in your soul.

We continue to remove blocks to develop and change ourselves.

Is your choice to live in illusions or in the real world?

Why are so many people unhappy? They struggle, they seem to make a lot of efforts, attempts to change something in their life for the better, but nothing works out for them, as if they are stuck in a vicious circle.

What kind of vicious circle is this? These are illusions in which a person is stuck, illusions that a person himself created within himself, cherished and nurtured. Illusions and pipe dreams that a person protects from the real world, in which he hid from real life.

Where do such illusions come from? The reason is fear: fear of life, fear of the world around us, fear of people, fear of acting and living in this world, fear of taking responsibility. When a person is afraid of the world and life in it, instead of overcoming his fear, he remains in his usual “comfort zone”, withdraws into himself, creating some kind of illusions, living dreams that he is not going to independently translate into real life. And between him and the real world, meanwhile, a fence of closure begins to grow, the basis of which is ordinary fear. The more such fences between a person and the real world, the more difficult it will be for him to overcome this gap and change his life.

Such illusions are serious blocks to human development and to changing his destiny. A lot of people, living in their little illusory worlds, never leave their comfort zone and achieve nothing in life. Meanwhile, outside the window is the huge, beautiful and boundless world of the Creator, with millions of opportunities and sources of happiness for an active, inquisitive and fearless person.

If a person chooses to live in illusions rather than real life in the real world, disappointment and collapse will await him. Illusions always lead a person to disappointment, internal dissatisfaction, as a result to mental pain, depression, complete unrealization and sad fate.

For quality changes to come into your life, you must break down the fences of your fears and concerns between yourself and this world!

To do this, you need to make a choice: what is more important, more valuable for you - your illusions, that “comfortable” little world that you have created for yourself, or the real world of God, in which you want to be successful and happy?

Write in writing and with justification your answer/choice to this question!

To better understand the essence of the problem described above, answer one more question: if a person does not love and is afraid of the world around him, society, people, if he runs away from life and fences himself off from this world, can he count on happiness in this world, on achieving success in it, so that this world will accept it and help it?

Let's chew a little: can a person be free and happy in a world that he subconsciously or consciously fears? Will the world meet halfway to a person who does not love him and is closed to him? Can a person achieve success in life if he is afraid to live, to live a real life in the big real world?

The answer is obvious: everything that a person fears remains closed and inaccessible to him! Closed until he overcomes his fear and finds the right positive attitude, in this case, towards the world, towards life, towards people.

• To change your life for the better, you need to stop being afraid of it, you need to learn to love it!
• To enjoy life in this world (in the world of the Creator), you need to overcome fears of this world, you need to learn to accept and love the world, begin to learn about it and its laws.

Your soul will experience true happiness only by living in the real divine world, with real life, but not in the world of illusions and unrealistic fantasies. At the same time, I will say that imagination and dreams are very good if you embody them in the real world, in your life. And if you don’t make it come true, these unrealized dreams and your illusory worlds will suck out all the juices, devour all the vital energy of your soul, drain the last strength from you, leading to depression and illness. That's how it works.

Practical exercises:

1. Be sure to write down your decisions: A) From now on, live in the real world of God, and not in your own little worlds, with your own invented and convenient laws for your ego, B) Step by step, overcome the fear of life, the fear of the world, the fear of people, bring down all the configured partitions between yourself and this world, C) Learn to accept and love life, the world around you, society as they are.
2. Write in your own words, from your heart, a prayer-request to God: to teach you all of the above, to save you from fruitless illusions and subconscious fears in relation to the world and life in it, say in prayer to the Creator, your Heavenly Father, that from now on you want life in His world and cognize it, and not hide from it, that the illusions created by fear and self-deception are no longer valuable to you. Ask God and the Forces of Light to lead you forward and upward, and teach you life, success, happiness in this world.

Understanding the knowledge and performing the exercises proposed in this article will certainly help you move the needle in your development and personal growth. But you need to understand that each person is an individual with his own story, and each has his own set of virtues, talents, strengths, as well as limitations and karmic blocks. Therefore, ideally, for effective development, each person needs to be looked at individually: what blocks his development the most? what are the reasons for immutability? What knowledge does a person lack most? What questions and problems are best to start with? etc.

A Spiritual Mentor or Spiritual Healer can best help you create such an individual development program.

In addition, to understand how changes happen to a person and his destiny, I recommend studying and working through additional articles:

If you have any additional questions, write to me!

Best regards, Vasily Vasilenko

www.psychology-faq.com

How to work on yourself - Psychologist

Working on yourself can be difficult, but the results are impressive!

There are not many people who BELIEVE that you can change yourself. There are even fewer people READY to change themselves. How many people are CAPABLE of changing themselves on their own?

Ian Deutschman's article "Change or Die" (Fast Company) described a study of patients who needed to change their habits in order to survive. Alas, only 10% of them were able to do this; the remaining 90% of them, after 12 months, returned to old habits, which practically guaranteed death. Even in the face of mortal danger, the vast majority of people cannot resist their old habits and make the right choices.

Note that in that experiment we were talking about people with extreme motivation for change: they needed to save their lives. It seems that in calmer conditions people change their habits even more lazily.

However, another group of patients showed different results in this study: in this group, 80% of the participants changed their habits. What made this group different? Only that they did not act alone, they had a support group. Patients participating in the group met regularly, communicated and discussed their progress, difficulties and challenges. Total: with a support group the results were 7 times better.

It seems that there are literally only a few “selfmade” people who have made themselves independently and alone. But why work alone? If you work with a group of like-minded people, your chances will increase at least 7 times. If you study not just in a group, but under the guidance of a master, your productivity will double.

Your decision?

Now about all this in more detail.

Look for like-minded people. If you find out who and where is doing what interests you in the area of ​​working on yourself, be sure to come and meet these people. Pay more attention to the atmosphere, to the relationships between people: usually it is the warm and attentive relationships between people that are the key to the fact that you will like it here and start working out with results.

IT'S BETTER TO STUDY IN A GROUP. LOOK FOR LIKE-THINDED PEOPLE!

Enlist the support of your friends. It is very important whether your friends support you. If not, you need to figure out: either you are going the wrong way and in the wrong place, or you are not really on the same path with these friends. Maybe your new friends will soon be those who want to make themselves new with you

High-quality training is excellent support. How and where to learn to work on yourself effectively? Psychological trainings will best help with this; the only condition is that it must be high-quality psychological training. Unfortunately, this is not always easy; today there are more low-quality “psychological” trainings than worthy trainings that can help you. How to get quality training, see here

Find your coach. Most often, the most important thing is to find YOUR mentor and coach: the one whose thoughts and whose style suits you most, whom you want to be like and emulate. The master will help you more accurately determine the direction, suggest effective techniques and methods, give high-quality feedback, help you not to forget your wonderful intentions, and create the necessary motivation.

WORK EVEN MORE EFFECTIVE UNDER THE GUIDANCE OF A MASTER

Consider coaching. If you can afford it, we recommend finding your own coach. A coach is a psychologist who provides support to healthy and successful people. Unlike psychotherapists, a coach will not treat you, and unlike a consulting psychologist, a coach does not provide one-time psychological consultations, but, as a personal accompaniment, supports you on your development path. A coach, if he will teach you, will do so to a small extent: a coach rather helps you figure out what you want and helps you achieve your goals in the best way.

COACHING IS WORTHY

Get up to the Distance! If you are interested in the most effective work on yourself, then today it is Distance - a coaching system for step-by-step personality development. Distance is your independent work on yourself, alternating with group meetings under the guidance of a leader. Distance is the most popular self-development system in Russia, developed by N.I. Kozlov. This is the development of communication skills, leadership, self-organization, improving relationships in the family, the opportunity to improve your health, train yourself to go to bed on time, wean yourself from complaints, excuses and self-criticism, teach yourself to hear, understand and feel people professionally. All this can be yours.

Today you can work via Distance, including online, via the Internet, from any city and from any country in the world.

www.psychologos.ru

Personal growth is, first of all, work and work on yourself. It is building yourself step by step, day by day, continuously and purposefully.

Personal growth is not an end in itself. This is the necessary existence of life and its continuation. Development is life itself. Everything that does not develop degrades and falls into decay.

First, you clearly define and understand your wonderful goals for self-development. You think that you are interested and exciting, what your mind and soul are drawn to.

Then you develop a plan to work on yourself. At this stage, you clearly understand that you will do and organize this work yourself; no one will solve your goals and objectives.

Working on yourself First steps Where to start

And the first thing you need to start with is to determine your resources, write down the conditions of the task, i.e. what you have at the moment.

Take a piece of paper and make three lists.

First, write down your shortcomings, negative qualities, problems. This could be: fear of doing something new, laziness, desire to sleep longer, excess weight, etc.

Second, list all the advantages and positive qualities.

The third is features of one’s character that are not classified among the first two, but have a place to be.

Think about the first list. Do shortcomings always get in your way?

For example, fear before starting a new business in some cases may be a consequence of your caution and a desire to understand the issue in more detail, in others, when a quick decision and action is required, it can be a brake.

Laziness and the desire to sleep more are often the result of irrational use of time. This is a signal to review your schedule and adjust your daily routine.

Sometimes a person unconsciously cultivates and cherishes his shortcomings - this is a reason to complain about himself, whine, worry about this and thus waste time and justify inaction.

The path of change and development.

Check out the article “How to become more effective” and more:

Accept yourself holistically with all the pros and cons

Show yourself love

If you can change your shortcomings, take action, work on them.

If it is fundamentally impossible to change (although it is believed that nothing is impossible), use them.

Wonderful parable about shortcomings here.

Tell us in the comments what methods do you use to develop yourself? How do you use your weaknesses?

And in conclusion, I suggest you rest. Listen to space music.

schastliviymir.ru

where to start and how to fix it

Hello dear readers! How working on yourself helps, where to start and how to consolidate the result - today I will give you some recommendations on this topic. There are many exciting opportunities around, but you rarely take advantage of them. Usually something gets in the way: lack of strength, fatigue, little time, laziness, no desire or money.

I really want to change my ordinary and boring life, add interest and variety. How to find the missing time, strength, and the right attitude? There is nothing complicated about it, all you need to do is take four minutes of your time to read this article and the answer will be in front of you. So let's begin.

Where should you start working on yourself?

Select a target

An achievable and concrete goal is easier to achieve. A clear task will give you the mood to work and help you organize yourself. The goal is the main reward, it can be touched, felt or seen. If a woman sighs about being slim, then determine how much kilogram she needs to lose. For a man who wants to climb the career ladder, choose a position. A girl who dreams of a worthy groom should think about his qualities. For a young man who wants to “conquer” the world, determine the scope of future achievements. Every person can imagine a goal, but it itself will not come at the appointed time.

Action plan

Once a goal has been set, all that remains is to make a plan for its implementation. If the task is not easy, then you need to divide it into several intermediate stages. This makes it easier to get started and see the fruits of your efforts. You may have to acquire the necessary knowledge to obtain the desired result. Working on the plan will take some time, but it will become clearer how to achieve the goal.

Willpower

The work to implement the plan will remain “in the future” if there is not enough willpower. You will have to work hard on this aspect. The goal you want to achieve will be a good motivation. You can keep a self-control diary or make a table in which you describe each step towards your cherished goal. Make an effort not to give up everything at the beginning of your chosen path. After all, it’s difficult to keep track of your weight if a woman continues to draw up her menu “by eye.” A man will also not achieve a promotion at work without the proper qualifications. You need to remember the bonuses that you will receive at the end of the journey.

Graduality

You should not try to cover the entire route in a few days. This way you can waste all your energy and be disappointed in the successful completion. To reach the desired finish, carry out your work gradually. Let the results at the beginning be very modest, but you will have enough energy to reach the end. Haste will lead to mistakes and unnecessary worries. If you still feel a lack of strength, there are powerful ways to quickly restore strength and energy, read the link.

Find Companions

Emotional component

A goal that is worked on a lot should evoke positive emotions. There is no need to strive for something just to “outdo” your competitors. What if such a goal brings emptiness and irritation? The final result should please you, and it doesn’t matter what other people think or say about it.

How to consolidate changes for the better?

• Forgive yourself for small mistakes in the initial stages. After all, not everything can work out right away. If the work is not successful, then take a short break and analyze your mistakes. Be happy even for a negative result. Consider this a test run. Then start again.
• Develop self-control. If you consciously perform any action for a long time, it will become easy to perform. But at the very beginning of the journey you will have to do the work of self-control. You will need patience and confidence in action. A long journey and long work will require attitude and focus.
• Reward yourself for every job you do. It may be interstage, but no less valuable. The final goal is sometimes far away, but any person needs to feel approved of his actions. There is no need to skimp on positive emotions. Even one kilogram lost can be rewarded, but not with food. Choose a reward such that a small result does not become zero.
• Changing habits. Sometimes habitual actions prevent you from achieving your cherished desire. The love for sweet desserts becomes a serious obstacle in working on being slim. Smoking reduces the body's stamina and causes apathy. The love of alcoholic drinks makes you forget what the goal itself is for. Look, perhaps habitual but useless actions are preventing you from moving forward. It's better to acquire good habits.

Conclusion

It is best to change yourself throughout your life. When you achieve your goal, look for a new dream. Why dwell on the same thoughts, diversify them. There are no ideals, but there is an opportunity to get closer to them. Everyone takes responsibility for changes in their lives. Determines the right time for this and develops a path. Working on yourself takes a long time and requires strong motivation so as not to lose your way. Without changing anything in the scenario of your life and relying on stereotypes, it is easy to not notice how years have passed in monotony and routine.

denotat.ru

Work on yourself. Why is this needed and where to start?

A person often forgets that changing the world around him is an impossible task for a single person, but at the same time he constantly strives to change the world around him. Although if you start changing yourself, the world around you will begin to change. The process of self-improvement is precisely a way to change yourself.

But how to start self-improvement?

To do this, you need to “look” into yourself. Understand your pros and cons. Get to know yourself.

Stages of self-improvement:

1) Self-analysis. At this stage it is important to be honest with yourself. You can simply remember your life and write down:

actions that make you feel ashamed;

turning points in life;

problems that interfere with life.

The main thing is to honestly admit your guilt and not feel sorry for yourself. Analyzing your life can be emotional and tragic. But the more emotions and pain are invested in this analysis, the more truthful the picture will be. In this way, it will be possible to identify the main range of problems that prevent us from moving forward.

2) Motivation. Reading motivating books and self-hypnosis are wonderful tools for self-motivation, but action is necessary. You constantly need to become better at something, change your character in some small actions. Crowded buses are annoying, you have to promise yourself not to get upset about this and control yourself. And, in this vein, try to act all the time.

3) Work plan. After self-analysis, you can make a plan to work on yourself. Determine and write down priority areas and goals, and write down actions point by point to achieve the goal. After this, you can begin to implement this plan. It is useful to keep a diary in which to record all your successes. This will serve as additional motivation.

4) Action. Every missed minute moves a person further and further away from his goals. Therefore, you need to start taking action, just start following your plan. Initially, not everything will work out; many obstacles will arise. But every small step towards the goal will make a person more and more confident, fewer and fewer obstacles will appear on his way.

The process of working on yourself should not be approached from only one side. A person must develop in all directions.

Intelligence. It is necessary to constantly improve both your professional knowledge and develop erudition;

Body. You definitely need to develop physically. Sports, various healing and cleansing procedures will help you treat yourself with greater respect.

Spiritual or creative beginning. Being creative helps you expand your thinking and get to know yourself better from the inside.

Communication. By communicating with other people, you can not only receive new information and take an example from them, but also better recognize human nature, understand other people and yourself.

Self-improvement is long and painstaking work. Every day you need to force yourself to continue this work.

Only through long and painstaking work is it possible to understand the reasons for your fears and failures and change your life, making it happier and more fulfilling.