Secrets of virtual communication. In virtual love, be interested in a real person

Today it is not uncommon. Large quantity people prefer to communicate with each other virtually, sometimes replacing normal human contacts. The habit of interacting with each other virtually appeared among people as a result of the development of Internet technologies. With the advent of the Internet, it has become easier to meet the person you like: to do this, it is no longer necessary to contact him verbally, just create a page on social networks. Some people get so carried away by the process of online communication that they forget about real life and even your own individual needs.

Features of virtual communication

Like any other thing, virtual communication has a number of distinctive features. These features may for a long time remain unnoticed until a person decides to pay attention to them.

Written form

Virtual communication is mainly carried out using written language. The Internet is a space where everyone interacts with each other using written words. Gradually, this becomes a habit and the person stops noticing that he communicates much less in the usual way. As a result, a certain detachment and isolation is formed, which can gradually turn into self-doubt, passivity and gloom. The written form of virtual interaction implies that people spend a lot of time on a computer, tablet or mobile phone in his hands, feverishly typing graphic symbols.

No space restrictions

Another feature virtual communication is the absence of any framework in external space. Time does not exist here, there is only virtual reality. You can easily interact with a person who is in another city, country, even on the other side of the world. What’s great about virtual interaction is that there are no restrictions. You can forget that you are separated by thousands of kilometers and chat about everything in the world. There is an opportunity to share the most intimate. The process of virtual communication sometimes seems endless from the outside. It seems that a person is immersed in the virtual world and completely forgets about his daily responsibilities. Virtual communication presupposes attachment to the Internet and strong emotional involvement.

Passion for the process

Sometimes people get so caught up in virtual reality that they stop noticing the real passage of time. Some people can spend virtual communication around the clock, barely noticing that morning has come or day has turned to night. Virtual communication is very captivating and has a powerful effect on nervous system. Often, as a result of such “get-togethers” at the computer, a person becomes irritable, nervous, unbalanced, suffers from anxiety and low mood. All this takes place for the reason that virtual communication is just an illusion that people take at face value. Sometimes it seems that no one has ever understood you as well as your virtual interlocutor. This feeling appears because people do not need to overcome embarrassment and embarrassment. On the Internet, everyone can be themselves, but, surprisingly, without showing their real face.

Young people are especially fond of virtual communication via the Internet. Many people want to find a soul mate in this way, talk about painful issues, and express their thoughts and dreams in letters to an imaginary friend. Some people get so carried away that they begin to engage in wishful thinking. Of course, when the illusions are dispelled, it will be very painful to realize the mistake. On the Internet, people do not communicate with real people, but with imaginary images that they invent for themselves. Virtual life fundamentally different from the real one.

Pros and cons of virtual communication

Virtual communication is characterized by many manifestations. As a rule, they are the same for all people who actively correspond on the Internet. Virtual interaction involves both positive and negative sides. Let's look at the pros and cons of virtual interaction. Can virtual communication really be useful? Is it worth making virtual friends?

Helping a shy person

There is a category of people who find it very difficult to establish contact with the person they like. Excessive timidity does not make it possible to openly get acquainted and show sympathy. Here virtual communication will become useful: it will help you relax, hide your own complexes and fears. During virtual communication, you can stop thinking about your shortcomings. Shyness will no longer be a serious obstacle to making new acquaintances and maintaining a conversation that seems exciting and interesting. A timid and shy person could hardly find friends in reality as freely. With the help of accessing virtual space, he will not have any particular difficulties.

Habit Formation

When a person sits on forums and social networks for years, he gradually begins to forget what it means to talk with an opponent, looking him straight in the eyes. The habit of being in virtual world. Communicating virtually is becoming the norm, which is very difficult to somehow correct. A person loses communication skills and the ability to understand others. Virtual communication in some cases becomes a salvation from, because otherwise it is impossible to interact with people.

Possibility to interrupt communication

IN ordinary life, if we don’t like something about our interlocutor, we don’t always have the opportunity to brush him off. For example, while at work, a subordinate does not have the right to ignore the orders of his boss or snap back. Otherwise, the consequences for him will be very sad. Many people, simply out of politeness, do not dare to tell their interlocutor that they are uninteresting and boring. Virtual interaction is different in that it presupposes complete freedom of choice. A person initially receives alternative moves to make a decision. If communication for some reason seems unpleasant and burdensome to you, then you can easily stop it. You only need to press a couple of buttons so that the unpleasant person stops bothering you. You also have the opportunity to place the selected person on the so-called “ignore list”.

On the Internet there are no obligations to each other: everyone has the right to do as they see fit. Virtual space seems vast. The problem is that over time, people get used to evaluating their potential interlocutors from the point of view of “like or dislike” and do not make any effort to build real personal interaction. They simply stop understanding what it is and are completely immersed in virtual communities.

Opportunity to find like-minded people

Virtual communication helps you find people with whom it will be really interesting to interact. If in everyday life you are unlikely to have the opportunity to spend close time with like-minded people, then the virtual space allows you to do this. Virtual interlocutors will help you unlock your inner potential. Virtual friends are not as difficult to find as real ones, so everyone can do it.

Thus, virtual communication is characterized by a number of distinctive features. It attracts people and looks incredibly attractive to many. Virtual communication has its pros and cons. The positive aspects are the opportunity to fully express oneself, the negative ones are the formation of a closed, inactive lifestyle.

What is attractive about Internet communication? pitfalls virtual relationships, should you count on the seriousness of virtual dating, how can Internet communication help and how can it harm, how to behave so that virtual communication brings only joy?

This is what will be discussed in this article, written on the basis of numerous studies of the features of virtual relationships and recognized concepts of interpersonal communication.

Let's first consider the positive aspects of online dating and relationships, and there are more of them than might seem at first glance.

Advantages of virtual communication:
1. Voluntariness of contacts and relationships.
2. The ability to interrupt communication at any time.
3. Errors in virtual communication are easier to correct, especially before they turn into real-life relationships.
4. A wider circle of communication – an opportunity to find a heart-to-heart interlocutor or a partner to create a serious relationship. Someone who is not nearby in real life or it is difficult to start communicating with him.
5. There is no virtual pregnancy and the possibility of contracting an STD is excluded.
6. The ability to realize personal qualities, play roles, experience emotions that, for one reason or another, are frustrated in real life.
7. Self-disclosure and development of one’s strengths in virtual communication.
8. Development of communication skills, greater self-confidence in general.
9. And others.

There are also negative aspects of online dating and relationships, and they cannot be ignored.

Disadvantages of virtual communication:
1. In the event that communication for the sake of communication is to the detriment of relationships in real life.
2. Lack of non-verbal communication - using gestures, intonation, etc., which impoverishes communication and gives rise to misperception of the interlocutor, overestimating or underestimating.
3. The opportunity to meet extortionists who gain trust for the purpose of further financial enrichment.
4. Virtual communication has an increased social contacts emotional intensity.

Learn more about the latest feature of virtual communication. Virtual love, "Love on the Internet" ( further development this feeling is already individual, can end in nothing or develop into a serious long-term relationship in real life) - this is an extremely common “disease” on the Internet, something like “virtual measles”, which almost everyone has had in a mild or severe form. More often virtual romance is a state of extreme emotional excitement bordering on euphoria. A virtual romance develops very quickly; what takes months in reality takes days on the Internet. However, such novels end very quickly. Without meetings in reality, a virtual romance rarely lasts more than six months.

General principles for virtual communication and relationships in real life:
1. Truly interpersonal is dialogical communication, where both partners are equal.
2. Previous communication experience, genetic characteristics (temperament) and characteristics of upbringing, the society in which a person moves, form standards of communication, set patterns of behavior that a person learns to follow when interacting with other people.
3. It is necessary to understand the uniqueness of each communication partner and under no circumstances adjust the inner world of another person to your stereotypical vision.
4. Scientists J. Teutsch and Ch. Teutsch developed a completely different theory from the previous ones, explaining behavior in the process of communication as genetically determined.

Psychogenetics considers the main conditions for choosing a communication style to be the main internal direction and negative emotions, which, intertwined with life circumstances, form a certain pattern of behavior that is invariably repeated from generation to generation.

A behavior model is a stable, regularly repeated, “recognizable” form of behavior, otherwise patterns. Patterns, like physiological information, are passed on from generation to generation: a person's individual history repeats the history of his parents or one of his ancestors. The pattern is formed by previous consciousness and experience; the history of the family up to the third or fourth generation is embedded in the individual model of behavior.

Thus, a happy person attracts good teachers, friends, co-workers and even favorable circumstances, which together further contribute to his prosperity. A “loser,” or more correctly, a pessimistic, negatively-minded person, on the contrary, attracts negligent or cruel mentors, unfaithful comrades, worthless colleagues, dangerous strangers, finds himself in fatal situations, and becomes a victim of accidents.

Everyone who interacts with the bearer of a positive internal direction - regardless of their will - will help him achieve his goals. The owner of a negative “radar” will “beg” from the same people first of all painful reactions or simply allow himself to be treated poorly, unpretentiously and silently agreeing to everything. To denote this, a special concept is used – “indirect consent”.

Indirect consent is a person’s unconscious predisposition to silently accept or provoke one or another negative attitude or influence from others. Undesirable hereditary traits are preserved and passed on from generation to generation, which manifest themselves in one aspect of life and have a significant impact on others - marriage, relationships with people, health.

IN in this case the same person is a negative factor in at least two functional blocks, unconsciously contributing to the strengthening of not only his own negative models, but also those who interact with him. The “victim” and her “persecutor” are drawn to each other not by chance or failure, but by natural law. Ch. Teutsch explains this pattern discovered by him with Newton's law of attraction, according to which the force of attraction between two bodies is proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.

Family law, which determines the basic patterns of behavior and relationships among family members, can be changed if a person wants to “retrain” his subconscious and persistently works on himself. Awareness negative aspects helps you become masters of your life and with my own hands, mind and will to create your present and future well-being.

With the help of conscious effort, appropriate actions and positive life experiences, a person can abandon the position of victim and change his attitude towards the world, people and himself.

Rules NLP(Neurolinguistic Programming) for effective communication- both virtual and in real life, enriching our lives:
1. The meaning of communication is in the response of the interlocutor.
2. Behavior is not the person himself.
3. Behavior changes in accordance with the context (circumstances of communication).
4. Non-verbal language (gesture language, intonation, etc. - which, unfortunately, does not exist in virtual communication) is the most truthful source of information.
5. The more choices, the more freedom.
6. Everyone chooses and does the best of what they are capable of.
7. Every action has a positive intention and is therefore useful and meaningful.
8. Look at failure as feedback.
9. Everyone has the resources to change.
10. Everything that is possible in this world is possible for me.

The goal of virtual dating and relationships should be to develop communication skills to improve the quality and satisfaction of real-life relationships. Ideally, any online communication at some stage should be reinforced in the form of a real relationship - at least on Skype, even from time to time, otherwise there is a high chance of communicating with a fictitious person invented by oneself.

Virtual communication should serve to strengthen or build new relationships in real life, but not to destroy existing ones in pursuit of illusory mirages. First of all, this concerns male-female communication.

At the same time, virtual friendly communication is built on a commonality of interests, values, worldview and can continue without reinforcement by real-life communication for the longest time and contribute to the development of the personality of both communicating parties. I repeat once again: such communication should not be at the expense of real-life communication.

In virtual communication, the rule is more relevant than ever: the less you expect from your interlocutor, or rather, the fewer demands you make, the greater the chance of not being disappointed and getting a positive experience and positive emotions from dating, communication and online relationships.

Psychology of Internet communication. Features of virtual dating and relationships.

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For a long time now there has been no question of “yes” or “no” to virtual dating and virtual communication. All this is as old as time. Even if everyone unanimously says “No!”, registrations on social networking and dating sites will definitely not decrease.

Therefore, today we will deal with the subtleties virtual communication to make it pleasant, painless and as effective as possible.

Today we will deal with communication with the opposite sex, because it is precisely this that, as a rule, evokes in us some special feelings, emotions, experiences, and disorders, let’s be honest...

So, if for some reason you are brought to:
social networking sites;

free dating sites;

paid dating sites (whether only men pay or both parties pay does not matter in this case);

games (games, ladies? What other games? Stop it! How to get rid of computer addiction),

...and there you also happened to meet a certain person whom you like, and he seems to like you too, then you should come to us

First, some general advice, and then we’ll look at situations with or without geographic distance from your dream object.

Almost five years of experience in the dating industry clearly makes it clear that virtual communication is far from a surrogate for “normal communication"and has a very definite right to be in modern society. Of course, for serious dating it cannot be compared, and replace real communication will never be able to, but it is quite possible to be a quality forerunner for him. Virtual communication can be a very strong basis for subsequent real communication and possibly relationships. Therefore, you shouldn’t underestimate it at all; it’s just important not to go too far and know some of the nuances of “computer conversation”.

In addition, all feelings and emotions in virtual communication, no matter how strange it may sound, are perceived more acutely. Little things are given more importance. Due to the inability to physically see a person, the consciousness searches for other sources of information, often finds them, but often exaggerates them or unjustifiably does not notice/does not evaluate them.

In general, some kind of “special” communication with someone online implies that you are a free girl and can afford it. Otherwise, you definitely have some problems in your relationship.

General tips for virtual communication

Remember: there is no friendship between a man and a woman.

Even if it happens to you. Sooner or later you will begin to open your heart to him, this is a natural process - na-ro-yes! And you yourself know that when a relationship becomes so close, warm feelings appear, which then... In a word, it is difficult to restrain yourself within the framework of friendship. And this, as a rule, is followed by a desire for the relationship to move forward, for him to appreciate, etc. etc. In a word, everything is like in life, only sharper!

If you understand that there can be nothing more between you and “that guy” (due to real reasons incompatibility, and not just “he is here, and I am there”), but you still like to communicate, then, of course, you will not stop communicating, but you need to do hard work with yourself

First, admit why NOT.
Secondly, accept it. And this means that if someone appears with him, you will not drink buckets of valerian, but just be sad for a couple of days, and then you will still be sincerely happy for him, this is normal. Accepting means replaying this situation in your head, experiencing it.

Thirdly, if you decide to be “friends”, then “be friends”, avoid slanting in a conversation on “slippery topics”, avoid “flirty” little things, even if it brightens the conversation, avoid personal topics, do not provoke (for example, by sending him a photo of you with wonderful abs). In a word - keep your distance. If you decide to be friends, it won’t ruin your relationship, but if it does, it means you didn’t do a very good job and allowed yourself something extra.

Don't expect anything

Everything that needs to happen will definitely happen. If you have any expectations from communication with someone, then the person will definitely feel it, and this bothers many. The good thing about virtual communication is that you can just communicate.

It may sound stupid, but if you need to “stay” together for at least some time, it will happen.

Don’t rush to give out phone numbers and agree to meet with everyone

If there is nothing to do today or tomorrow evening, then why not, actually? But if you periodically hang out on such sites
, be prepared that often people who do not want to bother
If you ask yourself at least a couple of phrases for preliminary acquaintance, they will immediately ask for a phone number “just to chat” or immediately write “let’s meet.”

It’s up to you to decide, of course, but statistics convincingly show that in the overwhelming majority of these meetings and these telephone conversations don't end with anything. You can try, each time thinking that maybe this is His Majesty Chance? What if it’s HIM! But when there are so many of THEM that in a month you won’t remember the names with whom you just had coffee, then other thoughts will probably come to you...

And if every time you meet someone or talk on the phone, you expect something (that this meeting “will definitely be the last”, or “I will do everything so that I like him” or... well, you know , what thoughts usually come to you. Not too smart, I must say), then you will be visited by disappointments one after another. And this will not have a very pleasant effect on your mood.

By the way, why the distribution telephone numbers and quick meetings lead nowhere, it's very easy to explain. But this is not the topic of the article, so just take my word for it.

If you seriously want to find a man for a relationship, then spend a little time establishing contact in virtual communication

So, when you meet, you will no longer need to waste time on the awkward establishment of this very contact in order to overcome the embarrassment and embarrassment that is always there (!). And this is where even the most promising meetings very often break down. It’s only in the movies that they show how awkward they felt, he spilled coffee on her, she sneezed deliciously in his face, they laughed, got married and lived happily until the end of their days.

It is much more effective and easier to meet when you know for sure that at least this person will have something to talk about and you will find a common language.

In this context, many adult girls reasonably note that “I don’t have so much time to take a “pig in a poke” every time.” Maybe it was funny when I was a teenager, but now it’s just pointless.”
Read the profiles!

And preferably do it between the lines. Nowhere can a person’s character be seen so colorfully as there! This has been tested millions of times! In the virtual world, the best profile is, perhaps, the one from which nothing can be said, in a word, unremarkable, statistically average.

Awaken the psychologist within you Pay attention to what a man writes about himself, who he is looking for, what things he says about himself.

If he writes “I want her to love me for who I am, and not for what I have,” then 90% that he simply has nothing but himself. If you want to love him for something else, there’s nothing more. It’s not a matter of self-interest, it’s just unpleasant when a man hasn’t been able to create anything in his life and is still trying to somehow justify it. By highlighting this as the main thing in the woman he is looking for, he clearly shows that he often met with women who demanded or wanted something from him, except for himself. Most likely justified. Do you need him like this?

Or - all the columns - car, telephone, occupation - are filled with cool words and brands, it is clear that the man wants everyone to know about it and immediately draw the appropriate conclusion about him. Do you write in your profile about your breast size and the number of cubes on your abs?

Look at the volume of what a man writes about himself, about her, look at his literacy, look at which columns he fills in and which ones he doesn’t, what photographs he has (not in terms of quality, of course, but who he is with, what he does, etc.). In a word, a man’s profile is his clothes.

Of course, there are exceptions. There are. But extremely rarely. This is just a one in a million situation, and it is usually filmed in the films already mentioned today...
Don't replace with virtual communication and real life dating

Even if you have a person with whom you really like to communicate, do not refuse to go to a club with your friends or to the skating rink, or anywhere at all. Don’t adjust your life to this communication, don’t run home to quickly go to the website and check your connections. communication.
Don't pay attention to the templates people use on websites

You don't think that "Hello, beautiful!" was it written specifically to you? Or the answers to some standard questions were also written for the first time.

Yes, not everyone does this, but there are people who use some valid patterns, and there are people who don't like it. However, you should not condemn this or have any negative attitude,
it's convenient.

To find someone st?
for communication in the virtual world, you need to sift through a bunch of people, but if everyone writes something different, then you can simply live on such sites. Of course, not everyone uses templates, but take it easy if you notice it. You will simply value more personalized communication more.
Agree to meetings

Try it. Not everything, of course, we have already talked about this earlier. But, as a rule, after “meeting everyone”, another model of behavior “meeting no one” and the search for the ideal person comes to replace it.
Don't wait for that proverbial "spark"!

Yes, it’s important, yes, it’s very nice! But this does not mean at all that without it the person automatically becomes completely uninteresting to you. An adult and mature person will be able to communicate and enjoy communication and when it doesn't spark. This can form the basis for strong, serious relationships, built not on a spark and initial interest, but on kinship of souls, outlook on life and aspirations.
Rules communication with someone who is far away

The above were general tips suitable for 95% of cases communication to His Majesty Virtual. However, universal injustice sometimes gives you a person to communicate with whom you have no opportunity to meet, but you really like communicating with him, and after some time you begin to think that “if only we were close, then everything would definitely work out.” " Special rules apply here.
Don't expect anything. Have fun with communication.

Give the man the opportunity to do at least something real. Virtual communication does not just mean letters on a screen. Believe me: there are a lot of opportunities to show your real (!) attention to you: from taking a special photo just for you to delivering flowers. If a man wants, he will find an opportunity.

Don't plan to visit him. Action is a man's prerogative.
Don’t look for options for changing jobs, adjusting business trips, etc. And all in order to meet him and, perhaps, be with him.

Don’t “set fire to the relationship” - don’t write to him passionately and emotionally about your feelings, keep communication on a calm and even wave. Without a meeting, all this is practically nothing. The more you “set fire” to the relationship, the more you will be disappointed by every little thing in him when you meet / you will be blinded and accept wrong decision on emotions.

Don't make it out of yours communication relationships. And don't act like you're his girlfriend and he's your boyfriend. Leave it to the teenagers.

Don’t think that all these tips were written from your own experience. communication with some person. Five years of experience in the field of dating (originally taking place on the site) is the best proof that all these tips together and each individually were suffered by girls just like you and me. So many profiles were looked at, so many people were in contact, so many stories passed before my eyes... All this is true.

We girls are emotional creatures and tend to behave inappropriately if we suddenly like someone very much. Treat virtual dating as just additional opportunity arrange your personal life.

Treat it like a game, even with some irony. Practice shows that this attitude wins in 100% of cases.

Live your life or continue to live your life, do not adjust it to someone who has not proven that he is worthy of you, or simply to the Internet. The faster and more fully you understand the meaning of this phrase, the faster virtual dating will only bring you joy.

Not for everyone a virtual romance means a lot right away. At first it is often perceived as funny game, a cure for boredom, a pleasant pastime. The person is very critical of what is happening and does not give in to correspondence of great importance. However, you need to be prepared that, due to the “peculiarities of the genre,” everyone, even the most sober person, has a serious threat of getting too carried away and truly falling in love and becoming dependent on pen pal relationships.

Why is this happening?

The main danger of virtual relationships is not even that the person on the other end will not be who he claims to be, but that you yourself begin to idealize the person, to invent his image. Due to the fact that you only see what is written to you, you have a huge space for imagination. In addition, unlike real communication, you are deprived of the opportunity to use such important analyzers as olfactory and tactile-kinesthetic. You don’t smell the person, you don’t see the dynamics of his movements, you can’t touch him. You don’t hear how he communicates with other people, you don’t see his facial expressions in response to various situations. Meanwhile, these analyzers, although not always conscious, are very important when we evaluate a person in real communication.

You imagine a person in your own way, completely different from how it might actually be. The desire to meet an ideal partner paints beautiful images; this takes many (primarily romantic girls) away from a sober analysis of the person sitting on the other side of the screen. In addition, you do not see his negative qualities, if only because he does not demonstrate them to you. However, like you to him. This is generally a feature of correspondence as a genre. But you receive magic words addressed to you personally: compliments pour in like from a cornucopia. Writing the phrase: “I have never met a girl like you” is much easier than saying it in a real situation. Therefore, the virtual partner finds himself in a more advantageous situation than a real person. The virtual partner also has time to think, to compose a beautiful phrase, to choose words... Thus, he can turn out to be a hundred times better than any real person whom we see in the entire complex of his life, and not just in what he decided to us demonstrate. Idealization makes you break away from reality and believe in a dream. Full contact cannot be as ideal as virtual contact. Therefore, falling in love virtually is much easier.

During correspondence, people find themselves in addiction to emotions, which they receive by reading the words of another. Moreover, most emotions are contrived by themselves and are attached to to a specific person. There is a feeling that no one else is capable of causing the same thing in you. Therefore, feelings arise not only that are quite real, but often even stronger than those that you experienced for someone before, for someone who could be touched in real life.

People who have experienced this intoxicating feeling of closeness and trust in virtual communication claim that it is simply impossible to feel this during real communication. For many, it’s becoming increasingly clear what a person actually looks like, what he does, the main thing is that “he is able to speak like that and understand like that.” It is because of this that many tend to identify what they feel like true love.

I know one couple who met on the Internet on one of the forums. Soon they met in real life, liked each other (with their olfactory and tactile analyzers already working!) and soon got married. But here’s the paradox - they still felt the need to write letters to each other, which they often did while sitting in different rooms one apartment. In letters it was easier to say about the secret, tender words were easier to come by.

And here is how Olga, 26 years old, describes the intensity of feelings. “We understood each other perfectly, it seemed as if we had known each other for 100 years. We talked with him about everything and our thoughts, tastes, and views on life simply coincided amazingly. He sorted out all my fears and guessed all my dreams. When I realized that my roof was slowly but surely leaving its rightful place, I suddenly found out that he was 16 years old. I couldn’t believe that a 16-year-old guy could write SUCH letters... poetry, music... I decided to interrupt the correspondence, but I couldn’t... It was a drug. We wrote to each other 2 times a day, called each other, exchanged photos. I couldn't deprive myself of this happiness. I listened to the words that I always wanted to hear, such beautiful and talented poems were dedicated to me. And on top of that, they also responded to my every thought objectively and with sincere interest. If suddenly the letter did not arrive, I simply began to choke. Tell someone at work that I have the same thing with a 16-year-old boy..."

Masha met Patrick on a language exchange site. She indicated in the questionnaire that she wanted to learn French from scratch and was ready to help in mastering Russian. He wrote to her in English. She answered. He wrote again. Things never got to the point of learning French and Russian, since a lively correspondence ensued in English, which they both knew. Already from the first letters, she was fascinated by his personality, rejoiced at every letter like a child and checked her mail even at night. He cheerfully expressed his opinions on serious philosophical problems, joked all the time and greatly entertained her with his letters. They loved the same books, they liked the same films, he sent her amazing compositions, they discussed everything in letters and never ceased to be amazed at the incredible coincidences in everything. They found so much in common in each other that it seemed like her twin brother was sitting on the other side of the screen. Sometimes they wrote each other 30 letters a day. She fell in love so much that sometimes she forgot that it was time to pick up her daughter from kindergarten, cook dinner for her husband, or check her son’s diary. Correspondence with him became the most important and priority thing for her. She was aware that her dependence on this correspondence was akin to a drug addiction, but she could not help herself. She tried to get rid of her... But if she didn’t write for more than a day, he would bombard her with letters full of sincere anxiety, and for some reason she didn’t want to play cat and mouse with this man. They talked about everything in the world, and it seemed that there was no person who understood her better than he. But the thought that she wanted to touch the real him drove Masha crazy. Just touch, nothing else is needed.

The marital status of both of them did not allow them to talk about their surging feelings for a long time, but after about five months Patrick could not stand it and began to write “I love you.” And a year after we met, he came to Moscow. Decide on real acquaintance It was not easy and very scary. Masha really didn’t want to be disappointed in the fairy tale that her fantasy had drawn for her. But virtual relationships reached such an intensity that the meeting was supposed to be a salvation from the feeling that “we will go crazy” if we don’t meet in real life and don’t understand: we all imagined it all for ourselves or we are actually two halves who miraculously found each other in big world?

At a distance, feelings begin to go off scale due to the inability to receive natural contact for a person - physical contact. The thought of a real meeting drives me crazy. Frustration due to the inability to feel real closeness with a person with whom virtual intimacy has arisen fuels feelings and ignites passion. One of the partners takes a ticket and goes to where virtual love lives... True, he doesn’t always find what he expected to see... but that’s not what we’re talking about now.

A real meeting is actually necessary, when it comes to feeling. The sooner the real meeting takes place, the fewer misleading impressions you will have about each other. Only it will become a measure of where the fantasy was and where the truth was, whether it was fate or the mockery of fate. And here you need to be prepared for any development of events. There is no recipe or reliable statistics on this yet. But there is a main one a sign of a healthy relationship between partners According to virtual love, this is a mutual readiness to transfer the relationship to real life. Even if you are separated by distance and borders, the first meeting is simply necessary, and only after it can virtual and real communication successfully complement each other for some time.

Real love, and not its illusion, can arise when partners imagine each other in all reality. If your partner avoids a real meeting in every possible way, then you urgently need to pull yourself out of dependence on love for him.

Psychologist Tatyana Nikitina not only talks about the complexities of relationships between men and women, but also helps those who want to improve themselves.